Regardless of what you have read in books, or seen on TV and the movies, sheep are not always the calm, peaceful, gentle creatures their PR people have worked them to be.

Oh yeah, they are beautiful to watch as they graze their way through long meadow grass in the morning sunshine… or when they are laying down to chew their cud under the shade of a dark maple tree.

But let your guard down one little bit and oh my goodness, sheep are the equivalent of that drunk dude at your party with the lampshade on. Yes, they are. At least my flock is.

I think it’s because they know they are spoiled. Yeah, probably. I’ve already indulged them too much and they act like they won the sheep lottery with a super cool place to live. After all, they get to come right up to the big house and eat the little pear trees and wisteria. Oh yeah and my lilies. (Note to self… get fence for the courtyard…)

And Mom buys them big bags of animal crackers.

And they get sheepie massages from Jessy.

Well, I digress… two days ago in the dreadful heat, I went out to check on the barn and the chickens and silly me… I didn’t latch the gate chain well enough. Lazy I suppose, my head swimming from the 101 degrees of ungodly heat and humidity. And after all, I was just going in to check on everyone’s water and well being and the sheep were over WAY up front, laying and chewing their cud.

I hardly get into the barn and I hear this crazy noise from inside the barn of chickens totally ticked off and feathers flying about. I dash in there and what do my wondering eyes perceive but three ewes acting like drunk monkey pirates dashing around and wrecking havoc! You could see in their frolicking moves that they were super excited to be in the land of chickens. They had found the feeder and were doing a pretty good job of dumping it as it swung like a chandelier from a bar room chain. They were pulling hay out of the nest boxes much to the dismay of a few setting hens. They dashed in and out of the barn chasing chickens. Bucka Roo was all cackle and alarm, dashing about and at one point landing on Lilac’s back and riding her out of the barn like a pony!

Oh my gosh… how in the world did they get in SO fast and how in the world was I do control this drunken sheep fest??? I managed to get the big barn door shut and then the ewe gang ran in the feed room door, so I shut that after them. I didn’t really want them loose in the back third of the farm, since there were too many spots that they could escape back into my neighbors fields of wheat and corn, or go around to the busy road.

I figured being contained in the wrong place was better than being loose in the wrong place! I grabbed the pair of rope halters I had and went in. Lilly and Lilac were trying to pull hay from the bunny cage and Mocha was busy chasing around hens and trying to smell them. When I called them sweetly, the cracked corn bucket in my hand rattling it sweet siren call, they eyed me with wary hesitation. They had a feeling they were in trouble and they were right.

I first tried the bribery, shaking my little bucket and calling them with the treat tones… but they weren’t having any of it. So I just put that away and got a halter and tried to catch one.

Well, drunk monkey pirates is HARD to catch! They were dashing around and laughing at me, I know they were. My first initiation in the world of loose livestock and on my own since the girls were gone to their Dads! Agh! Sweat dripping from my brow, I got smart and just pretended to stroll over to the corner and rattled a old feed bag, ignoring my captives and within moments Lilly was at my back leg, peering around, curious as a cat on her ninth life. I calmly slipped the halter on her and she freaked and nearly dragged me off my feet. I let her go, because I really didn’t want a rope burn on my hands. I calmly tied a knot in the middle of the other lead, and managed to catch Lilac and hold on to her. I stepped on Lilly’s lead and somehow she managed to get her halter off her nose and around her neck. This was to my advantage because as soon as the rope tightened, she immediately flung herself on the floor in sheep drama. (Thanks Robin for giving me the insight on that! haha…)

Now, I knew that her thick wool was going to keep her safe from true strangling and I just told her to get up and lets go. Lilac was resigned to her capture and punishment and followed contently. Lilly I had to drag a few steps but then she decided the fun was over. I knew Mocha, the yearling, would follow her moms no matter what and out the feed room we went.

It’s only 20 feet or so to the gate and I managed to get them all through the gate and release Lilly and Lilac. I had a couple animal crackers in my pockets, so I gave them a pat and a cookie and told them they were baaaad baaaad sheepies and they shrugged and wandered off to wreck havoc in their own yard.

I felt pretty good. I had calmly solved the problem and had only lost about 3 pounds of sweat getting them back to their safe yard and I still had my trio of crazy ewes.

Of course, my relative calm and happy demeanor was wrecked this morning when laying in my bed, contemplating the day, Evee starts barking like a fool and I peer out the window to find that my flock had ONCE again managed to get into the back yard!!! Oh no… They were wandering about, in and out of the barn! I shoot of bed, grab my clothes and shoes and out I go. I never wished harder for Evee to be a good trained sheep dog, but alas, she’s far from ready for anything but chasing them to death.

I grab the bag of animal crackers on the way out and some sort of ancient shepherdess wisdom fills my head… I stop at the fire pit and our customary cookie handout area and call them, shaking the bag.

Three crazy monkeys peek out of the barn in curiosity… mom? cookies? In the cookie place??? They dash out and are in a panic for a few minutes to try and remember how they got out in the first place. And then, as I hoped so…. they remembered and dashed over to the pig barn! And they disappear in the back door and come out the little side door… right in the yard!!! Hahaha…. smart little pirates. We must have left that door open the day before when we had a bunch of little kids and their moms over to visit!! I would have never thought they would figure that out, but they did….

Well, I gave them a few cookies for their obedience, and then rushed over to secure the little side door. I hope that this is the last of our containment learning curve… silly little girls….

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